I am a blessed child of God ! :)
Even though it's the Examination period and people should be studying their heads off and burying their heads in their books, readings and cheatsheets, I thank God for people who bothered to spend 10 seconds on Fb to type a birthday greeting to me, for the sweetest people on earth like MOMO & BIMBONG, Cherlyn & Tabitha, Samhoneybuns, Anne, & Xiudachio for spending valuable time on my invaluable birthday cards/boards/calendar :) I felt especially touched to receive from Kor a collection of Arsenal stuff! :) I feel very blessed by the blessings sent via SMS too and Joanne & Aunty Vivien for their kind presents :D Not to forget little blessings from The 3 Wise Men (Eugene, Clement, GimSiong) - a heavy pack of gummies & sweets form Mini Toons which they gobbled up quickly enough & Sheares Exclusive Stuffed Chicken treat :)

I thank God for allowing me to see things in perspective and to value relationships over the less important academic grades. I was able to let go and not be too caught up with my exam preparation and instead spend time with Mom at IKEA savouring meatballs & quite a spread of Swedish delights & also dinner with Cell Girls over the weekend :)

So now, it's back to studying & it'll be over in a week! WHEEEEE. Can't wait. OUTINGS! :) Okay focus.

I realised I have been blogging quite a lot, probably too self-absorbed again.

HAHA.

Anyway, I really want to thank God for allowing me to see things in perspective again.
I realised I have overlooked the many blessings He has placed in my life EVERYDAY.

Blessings that come in the form of friends (FOR TODAY!)
1. MOMO who stayed up late to have HTHT with me :D
2. Haowei who went for lunch break with me
3. Azlin whom I can complain anything under the sun to & she'll take it calmly with a pinch of sage-fulness (if there is ever such a word)
4. Michelle Leow who gladly volunteered to dabao Ice Castelo for me from Fongseng :D
5. Yingxiu who encouraged me with the Lord's words today via a very sweet card :)
6. Eugene Toh who jio-ed me to eat Sheares Supper (my first time!) and gave me a ride back to hall :D
7. Sining & Sarah who informed me about PL1101E final term paper format even though I wasn't at lecture :)


And i have SO MUCH to thank God for in a day, what more the other days! I shall strive to thank God for various ppl everyday because this makes me happy and blessed! (:

I just don't get it. Or maybe I do, but I choose not to accept the reality.
I have been feeling very frustrated with myself lately because I have been getting back term papers and projects and the same grade kept appearing and things are just not looking very bright. Naturally, I feel very worried because I'm very far from my personal goal. Did I set my expectations too high or am I just plain stupid?
I am not having an inferiority complex but seriously, after all that hard work, what I got was a measly grade and I feel so unjust, so upset, so confused.
I think I know, it's not the hours that count, it's the quality of work produced.
I realize this very saddening truth about myself, that I tend to limit my leisure & I sacrifice my sleep but all these things I do amount to NOTHING when I do not focus on the tasks at hand. And I failed to commit my plans to the Lord.
It's very troubling to know that I could have changed my style of learning but I didn't because it would mean stepping out of my comfort zone. This is particularly upsetting because it's something within my control and yet I failed to do it.

My seniors told me not to sacrifice sleep for work and that they'd rather feel guilty that their grades are mediocre because they didn't study than feel stupid like me when I have put in much effort. But I really don't wish to adopt this attitude of being lackadaisical about my work because after all, I am already very blessed to have my education sponsored and so I do not want to achieve mediocre grades BECAUSE of my lack of effort. I would rather feel stupid.

I just have to say, I need to change the way I prioritize my work, to re-evaluate what's happening to me and to really find an effective way of studying FOR UNIVERSITY. I think I am the kind who is so used to the rudimentary way of studying for secondary sch/JC examinations that the way university modules are graded still catches me off-guard.
I pray for the Lord's wisdom so that all that I do may be according to His will and plan for me (:

Hoping for a better month ahead. NOVEMBER! :D