ulricaaa's Xanga

Pre-IHG

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 11:58:57 GMT

I just need to say this: IHG trainings thus far have been a real humbling time for me. Everyday I see amazing people executing amazing spectacular skills & there is never a lack of talent to ogle at. I feel so humbled and awed and honoured to be in the presence of such talents. :) I look back at what I am and pray that the I can bring out the best in myself for the Lord's glory too. :)

In some way, each of us is small. But God can do much with the little we have to offer. —Winn Collier

My thighs are really aching from the suicides that we did today as a punishment for handball. I would like to think that the team had to go through all that shuttle runs because of the mistakes on my part. Y'know, it really bugs me that I understand where I am going wrong (e.g. taking too many steps to shoot, twisting my body more for wing shots) but somehow I just keep making the same mistake again and again. It frustrates me because I don't want the people who made the effort to correct me to think that I am not heeding their advice. I wish I can pick skills up quickly and progress faster in my game. Sigh. ): I think I really have to make a conscious effort and put in 10 times more effort in remembering and visualizing my moves to be able to perfect it. Gambate!

Training for 3 entirely new sports = information overload! Everyday I have at least 2 trainings. The combination is deadly for me because I need to process information given quickly and be able to store the new moves I learn in my LTM. Touch + Handball + Floorball = BRAIN DAMAGE. It is both physically and mentally tiring. I guess that's the reason why I really appreciate the time when I can just nua at home and do nothing (i.e. don't have to use my brain).

Been Thinking About

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 04:27:05 GMT

Okay okay, one last game.
Okay, just one more.
Okay, until my battery runs out.
Just one more, one more. At least one more high score.

Bejeweled on Facebook is just SO addictive. Even though I know so clearly that it is quite brainless and time-wasting, why do I keep falling back to playing it?! Funny thing is, I do a lot of reflecting when playing it. I think about stuff and I wonder about things. That's why probably I can't really get great high scores bcos I am utterly distracted by my own thoughts while playing it. The key to playing it well is to have focus and 100% concentration. But I play it for the sake of reflecting. Funny.

My body is aching terribly from trainings the past week. On one hand, it's really terrible to feel such soreness in the neck and thighs and shins and places you never imagined existed. On the other, it feels REALLY great to be able to feel such pain, the joy of knowing that your muscles are getting toned, your skin is getting tanned (ok, mine is getting over-tanned) and that my system is up and going. :)

May I have the determination to continue on with my detox plan even as the festive season rolls around.. I haven't been eating junk food but I am still eating supper ): So that's kinda bad still. ):

I have a fetish for Peter Pan Peanut Butter! AHHHH. Somebody should stop me from consuming too much peanut butter cos if YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT is true, I am so going to die for making peanut butter a major part of my diet. ):

I have been so happy to be burying my head in books again! I just finished the 4-part series of The Sisterhood of The Travelling Pants. Even though initially I thought that it was just a very teenager-love-story-friendship kind of book, it unfolded really beautifully towards the end. The author Ann Brashares unveiled many feelings that girls would feel regarding BGR, friendship and kinship. I really love the last book Forever In Blue: The Fourth Summer of the Sisterhood. Ann Brashares has a knack in putting complex thoughts and innermost feelings into beautiful simple sentences and relevant accompanying quotes. I relished them all. :)

While I was playing Bejeweled a few minutes ago, I was thinking about someone. One thought led to another and I began to see the truth in the fact that people see what they have been unconsciously been feeling. They interpret things with their feelings (can we use the term emotional bias/confirmation bias here? haha) and sometimes it really leads to wrong judgments. That applies to me too. I tend to read into things too much and come to warped conclusions that turn out to be ridiculous after getting to know the big picture. And time and again, it happens even though I am clearly aware of my tendency to do that.

Okay I may not be making sense. I am not very good at putting my confused thoughts and complexed feelings into coherent sentences.

Need to learn more from Ann Brashares.

She has a weird name. (:

AND YOOHOO mom & kor are safely back from the Land of Thousand Smiles.
Now awaiting the safe return of Joanne and Peiqi.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 14:27:25 GMT

I'm giving up on the Apple Rebate system ): It's been 4 months and I don't think my rebates were successfully processed ): ): ): I CRY. So my dad was right after all! There's no guarantee in such things and I shouldn't have placed my trust in the fact that Apple will rebate my iTouch and HP Printer. ): ):

BEEN OUT IN THE MERCILESS SUN FOR 2 DAYS 9AM TO 6PM! :) HAHAHA. Thank God that the weather was great for the past few days bcos trainings were able to take place productively :D TOUCH, HANDBALL/FLOORBALL and SOCCER :D I'm burnt and looking radiant!

I'm physically tired but I'm so happy to be exercising: my body feels so much better than it was during the examination period. Supper and non-exercising days. HORRIFYING. ): I'm really happy to be having the holidays bcos I can bury my head in books again. :D WHEEEHEEE.

TATA!

WOWEEEEEE

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 18:32:20 GMT

How about saying that my examinations for Sem 1 is officially O-V-E-R?
Come on and celebrate! :D

Scary how everything goes into a vicious cycle. Scary how one thing leads to another. One action producing a consequence that leads to further reinforcement of the action. In physical geography, it's called POSITIVE FEEDBACK. But how ironic, it is not even a cycle that has positive connotations.

Scary how I just keep doing the very things I know I shouldn't do, the habits that I adopt that I clearly wanted to avoid.
Scary how I can just lose my consciousness when I am under the influence of strong emotions.
Scary how I can forget what I learn from the past and repeat the same old mistakes.
Scary how I can research on the negative effects of my actions yet I continue doing it.
It's scary how my mind works.

I have and I will and I can.

Time for serious detox. Mind and body and soul. :D
Please knock back the sense in me, Lord.

Okay it's happy times so be glad everyone! :) Great tidings!

Blessings from the Birthday Week

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 23:16:01 GMT

I am a blessed child of God ! :)
Even though it's the Examination period and people should be studying their heads off and burying their heads in their books, readings and cheatsheets, I thank God for people who bothered to spend 10 seconds on Fb to type a birthday greeting to me, for the sweetest people on earth like MOMO & BIMBONG, Cherlyn & Tabitha, Samhoneybuns, Anne, & Xiudachio for spending valuable time on my invaluable birthday cards/boards/calendar :) I felt especially touched to receive from Kor a collection of Arsenal stuff! :) I feel very blessed by the blessings sent via SMS too and Joanne & Aunty Vivien for their kind presents :D Not to forget little blessings from The 3 Wise Men (Eugene, Clement, GimSiong) - a heavy pack of gummies & sweets form Mini Toons which they gobbled up quickly enough & Sheares Exclusive Stuffed Chicken treat :)

I thank God for allowing me to see things in perspective and to value relationships over the less important academic grades. I was able to let go and not be too caught up with my exam preparation and instead spend time with Mom at IKEA savouring meatballs & quite a spread of Swedish delights & also dinner with Cell Girls over the weekend :)

So now, it's back to studying & it'll be over in a week! WHEEEEE. Can't wait. OUTINGS! :) Okay focus.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 17:00:58 GMT

Note to self: ulrica, sometimes it's wiser to not think that people's world revolve around you and please stop entertaining those self-destructive thoughts and blowing minor issues into big proportions just because you think you matter so much.

:)

Don't get so uptight.
Don't sweat it.
Enjoy the Lord's presence. (:

EXAMS for a birthday present! HOW COOL! :D

Friends

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 17:28:06 GMT

I realised I have been blogging quite a lot, probably too self-absorbed again.

HAHA.

Anyway, I really want to thank God for allowing me to see things in perspective again.
I realised I have overlooked the many blessings He has placed in my life EVERYDAY.

Blessings that come in the form of friends (FOR TODAY!)
1. MOMO who stayed up late to have HTHT with me :D
2. Haowei who went for lunch break with me
3. Azlin whom I can complain anything under the sun to & she'll take it calmly with a pinch of sage-fulness (if there is ever such a word)
4. Michelle Leow who gladly volunteered to dabao Ice Castelo for me from Fongseng :D
5. Yingxiu who encouraged me with the Lord's words today via a very sweet card :)
6. Eugene Toh who jio-ed me to eat Sheares Supper (my first time!) and gave me a ride back to hall :D
7. Sining & Sarah who informed me about PL1101E final term paper format even though I wasn't at lecture :)

And i have SO MUCH to thank God for in a day, what more the other days! I shall strive to thank God for various ppl everyday because this makes me happy and blessed! (:

the Me Generation

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 04:47:39 GMT

I cannot but nod in agreement to what Uncle Kia Wang preached over the pulpit yesterday, that the young people of today live in a "Me, myself and I" generation. I am particularly guilty of a few things he mentioned: broadcasting my feelings on Facebook, blog entries etc. Save for Twittering and posting YouTube videos about myself, I am really quite self-absorbed! ): He also mentioned that most of the blogs are always full of people ranting and being emo, basically to gain sympathy from readers of the blog. I can't deny that I do that at times too, and lately, I think I have not been very positive in my writings.

However, I beg to differ that all blogs are like that because I have come across many blogs that are inclined towards raising political awareness, blogs that have entries that are tremendously thought-provoking, even those that post very helpful reviews about movies and books that are possibly useful for many. There are numerous of blogs that dedicate their entries to praising the Lord and giving daily testimonies about the grace of God in their lives (which was my intention of this blog initially, but i guess my self-centredness got the better of me ): )

*

Anyway, note to self: be positive! :D My devotional journal for today has this part where it says: You Become What You Think.

An excerpt:

"Your positive or your negative lifestyle will indeed affect every function of your body. If you dwell on negative things, you will spout negative words and have negative facial expressions and body gestures. Being negative keeps you unproductive and focusing on self. When you think negatively, you simply do not accomplish as much in a day as you think positively."

REJOICE IN THE LORD ALWAYS. I WILL SAY IT AGAIN: REJOICE! -Phil 4:4

God's grace is sufficient for me :)

Perplexed

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:12:58 GMT

I just don't get it. Or maybe I do, but I choose not to accept the reality.
I have been feeling very frustrated with myself lately because I have been getting back term papers and projects and the same grade kept appearing and things are just not looking very bright. Naturally, I feel very worried because I'm very far from my personal goal. Did I set my expectations too high or am I just plain stupid?
I am not having an inferiority complex but seriously, after all that hard work, what I got was a measly grade and I feel so unjust, so upset, so confused.
I think I know, it's not the hours that count, it's the quality of work produced.
I realize this very saddening truth about myself, that I tend to limit my leisure & I sacrifice my sleep but all these things I do amount to NOTHING when I do not focus on the tasks at hand. And I failed to commit my plans to the Lord.
It's very troubling to know that I could have changed my style of learning but I didn't because it would mean stepping out of my comfort zone. This is particularly upsetting because it's something within my control and yet I failed to do it.

My seniors told me not to sacrifice sleep for work and that they'd rather feel guilty that their grades are mediocre because they didn't study than feel stupid like me when I have put in much effort. But I really don't wish to adopt this attitude of being lackadaisical about my work because after all, I am already very blessed to have my education sponsored and so I do not want to achieve mediocre grades BECAUSE of my lack of effort. I would rather feel stupid.

I just have to say, I need to change the way I prioritize my work, to re-evaluate what's happening to me and to really find an effective way of studying FOR UNIVERSITY. I think I am the kind who is so used to the rudimentary way of studying for secondary sch/JC examinations that the way university modules are graded still catches me off-guard.
I pray for the Lord's wisdom so that all that I do may be according to His will and plan for me (:

Hoping for a better month ahead. NOVEMBER! :D

Hall Life

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 12:30:44 GMT

I don't know whether to feel happy or scared that I am in hall.
There has been a big commotion over the recent sightings of 2 intruders, one of whom has been caught on CCTV. This has been rather exciting (like wah, we have totally no life and we need such people to entertain us!) and traumatizing at the same time because now the safety of female hall residents (especially the unfenced TH) is now severly at stake.
Though I have not seen these 2 intruders around, listening to the tales of friends who have seen him prowling around & even made eye contact with him is horrifying enough.

I don't have many pressing project deadlines or whatsoever, but final year exams are looming. I find myself unable to focus or get down to doing real productive revision lately and it scares me to know that I am living such a life. Hall life is great in the sense that I get to have friends around me ALL THE TIME and there's always activity, like a whole night of trainings or just hanging out with friends. Socially, I am very satisfied but deep down I know I can't sustain such a lifestyle cos studies are of major priority ):

"It's not the number of hours you put in but the quality of work produced during the given time."

Note to self:
1) No online messenging while doing work
2) No Facebook until I have completed my tasks
3) Lock my ROOM! :)

On a lighter note, my week has been rather fulfilling cos I walked Jesse and Russell for 3 days and had a helluva fun time with Bimbong & Momo on Friday night (:

For my first day of dog walking, I had severe major hiccups, much credit to the erratic weather! Firstly, I also have myself to blame because I couldn't remember the directions to Jo's house (even though she has given clear instructions 3 days before). I conveniently took the bus from the wrong bus stop and conveniently alighted at the wrong stops. Hence, I had to cross and re-cross overhead bridges for 123456789 times. It didn't help that it started pouring all of a sudden & I couldn't get a cab because I was on the AYE. HAHAHA. MAJOR MISTAKE. So thankfully, I called Sue-jean who happened to live near Jo and asked her for directions & she was indeed a great help :)
After 123456 hours, I managed to find my way to the correct bus stop but subsequently got lost in the private estate area. AHHA. But thankfully by the time I reached Jo's place, the rain has stopped so I could bring the dogs out. BUT alas, the thunder had to rumble 5 mins into my walk and Jesse was so scared she refused to budge! ): Her hindlegs were trembling and she remained rooted, to the broadest sense of the word, to the ground. No matter how much I cajoled her, she refused to move an inch ): I called Jo and she said I'd have to just pull her along and in the end, the dog tag broke ): But thankfully, it all went alright eventually.

The subsequent 2 days were awesome & glitch-free and I'm beginning to get more confident with handling dogs! (: It's really cute to watch them pee & have them jump and catch the ice cubes I throw to them after the walk. They are such adorable beings :)

Bimbong & Momo never fail to make my days, seriously. It helps that I share the same sports as them too so whenever I feel damn jaded during trainings, their presence can lift up my mood (: We had a mini-exclusive outing to Vivocity just to eat Haagen Daz cos of my expiring pathetic $10 gift voucher. Ahaha quite a silly excuse, but the outing was super fun (: Embarrassed ourselves TTM at Haagen Daz cos we took mother-long to come to a decision for our orders. It was mighty hilarious to see 3 different staff coming to us and asking us whether we were ready to place our orders. Bimbong seriously cracks the both of us up and we felt so proud of ourselves to have thought of her affectionate nickname so spontaneously. (: Though the icecream was really quite palatable, the pathetically-small Belgium waffle baffled us because it costs a mother $5! Daylight robbery, seriously. -.-

Erratic weather. Don't know whether to feel happy or sad because of it. HAHA. It makes me sleep because it's sooooo cooling but it wakes me up at the same time because of the thunder.

):/ (:?